Patpong

While Thailand possesses a strong and everpresent spiritual and religious tradition in the form of Buddhism, with spirit houses at nearly every house and business, along with Buddhist monks walking all over the city, it also contains the polar opposite with the existence of the infamous Patpong district. This area, centered around 2 main streets referred to as Patpong 1 and 2, contain some of the most extreme and hardcore sex shows and gogo bars in the city, possibly the world.

As long as I was in Bangkok I figured I may as well check out the shows everybody talks about and the tuk tuk drivers are always trying to drive you to. What better time to check out the shows than after u have been meditating at a Buddhist temple severals hrs beforehand. Since the Patpong district is about 7 miles away or so I decided to take a taxi to the area, cost me about $3. Arriving there the scene was totally different than during daytime when I was there the previous wk. It was pretty calm and not much going on there during the daytime. Just a bunch of pushy hustlers trying to interest you in going to particular massage parlors with brochures full of beautiful thai ladies. This time however, the time was around 11pm, the entire area was jam-packed with booths selling the usual kind of stuff in the booth, i.e. t-shirts, buddhas, necklaces and jewelry, some knives and other weapons, touristy stuff, etc. Right next to all these booths are the go-go bars where u can see all the ladies inside dancing. All kinds of people walking and browsing around, foreigners, thais along with families, kids, and old folks. It always amazes me the tolerance and laid back manner of the Thai people and culture that they are able to accept some things in their society as though it were no big deal.

The most annoying part was all the hustlers and pushers trying to get you to check out there shows along with girls grabbing you and trying to pull you into their businesses. I was primarily there just to check out the ping pong shows that I had heard so much about, in which the girls shoot ping pong balls and all kinds of objects out of their coochies. After I had walked around for long enough and had enough of the outdoor scene, I decided to give in and check out one of the shows that the pushers outside were trying desperately to get u into. They walk around holding pieces of paper listing all the stuff that go on inside and that the girls get into. As I walked up the steps and into the go-go bar area with the stage in the middle, I noticed that the bar and strip area was primarily empty with the exception of a bunch of dancers. Within seconds I was swamped by about 5 pushy attractive thai girls vying for my attention and trying to make some money. They were all over me and grabbing my hands and putting them all over themselves. A second later a bartendress lady comes by and tries to interest me in buying an overpriced beer for about $5. I said sure, I would have a beer to watch the show. Then she was pressuring me into buying the girls drinks of coca-cola for about $3 a piece. At this point I had pretty much had enough. I was only there with the interest in seeing a show and didn't desire to be the center of attention for all the girls trying to get me to buy them overpriced sodas along with other services. It was a bad situation and I had to get out. At the moment my beer arrived at my table I jumped up and said I had to get out of there. They tried to grab my arms and keep me there but there was no way I was going to stick around in a empty bar wasting my money away.
I made it safely back out to the street and decided I was going to go back to a warehouse area several blocks away that the taxi driver had dropped me off earlier in the evening. Here it looked crowded and like the real deal in terms of an authentic ping pong show.

The only catch was that u had to pay a higher cover charge to get in, 500 baht which comes out to about $15 US dollars. I would have gone in earlier but I wanted to walk around the general area and see what was going on. At this point however I just wanted to see what I had come down to the area for and experience what one of these sex shows was all about. I paid my money and walked in. Thank goodness it was crowded and I didn't have to worry about a bunch of working girls trying to pressure me into buying them drinks and other services. 1 or 2 girls did try and interest me in buying them an overpriced 150 baht, $5, cup of soda but I just laughed at them and said no thanks. I'm not sure what kind of moron is going to spend that kind of money on a soda for some relatively unattractive bar girls just so he can talk to them for a bit.

Anyway, the stage area was dimly lit and u really couldn't see much of anything. Music was blasting with American music of course. It's weird here in Thailand how at the clubs and bars America hip hop and other types of music are always playing. Just goes to show the influence of America and its pop culture throughout the world. There were an assortment of different groups and nationalities in the crowd with almost as many women as men. Intermixed in the crowd were Indians, Thais, Europeans, Australians, couples, groups of guys, singles, etc...

In regards to the show, the women were on stage in the middle and it was kind of tough at times to see what they were doing as dark as it was. They were not exactly attractive and didn't seem for the most part to have much enthusiasm for what they were doing. Basically they seemed to be going through the motions as though they had done their act a millions times before and were just there to make a buck.

Essentially here is what I saw the women perform at different times:
1) shooting ping pong balls out there pussies while standing up
2) pulling longs string of confetti and other objects out of themselves. Sometimes the strings would keep going on and on for 20-30 ft or more.
3) one women pulled out a string with what apparently had sharp objects on it as she demonstrated afterwards cutting paper with the objects tied to the string.
4) shooting darts out of themselves into balloons and popping them. This was funny as the couple within range of the darts went scattering to make sure them weren't hit by the darts.
5) lighting up cigarettes with their pussies and blowing out candles
6) sucking bottles of sodas out of one bottle into themselves and transferring to another bottle. This was amusing as well as some of the crowd members got the hell out of the way to make sure they didn't get sprayed by contaminated and shaken up soda
7) shooting banana looking objects out of their coochies, sometimes past the stage area and making people scatter.
8) one grotesque looking thai man and women having sex with each other on stage in all kinds of different positions.
9) other acts that I can't remember at the moment

I stuck around for about an hr or so just to take in the freak show and to hopefully not miss anything worthwhile. For the most part the show was pretty subpar as it was so dark and noisy in the place and the angles to watch the girls perform their skills wasn't typically lousy. However, it was great to have actually been able to make it to a real-live thai ping pong sex show. I can't say that I would ever go back, but it was an experience nevertheless all visitors to Thailand should experience. At least those who are not easily offended and have strong stomachs.